Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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