Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
