CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
