Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I am midnight drunk by noon
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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