But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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