YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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