i think my tv is drunk
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
