I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
one might say we're banned from that church
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
