I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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