I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize