I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
