zippers are such a cool invention
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
