it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
