and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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