how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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