Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize