The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
