yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
