I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
