in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
