What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
