Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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