so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
