hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
