No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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