know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize