omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
