good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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