and she was petting her beer can
Everything about him screamed your future.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
