i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize