piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
