Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
