at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
