If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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