well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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