Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
