you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
