The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
