areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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