alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
