Your mouth is God's brothel.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize