You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
