Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
