in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
