the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
