She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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