So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
