Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
