Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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