why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
