That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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