I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
