She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
