Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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