it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
