dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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