3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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