I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
