You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
