she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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