her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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