I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
