i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
