How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You're earring is so big in my mouth
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
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