im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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