clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
