He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
