...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
