i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
