You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
