the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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