did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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